We all can be "triggered" time to time in our relationship. An "emotional trigger" is a subject or action that can bring strong emotional responses, often out of proportion to the act itself from an objective viewpoint. Our reactions are often rooted in past experiences - emotional predispositions or the conditioned habits we have developed over time. When something "we turn off," it may have a long history dating back before your current relationship. He too traveled along nerve pathways road of our brain that creates our awareness to something that may not bother someone else at all. The way you respond when your spouse does something that you do not want to therefore influence how good or bad they treat you in the future. Therefore, it is essential that we become more aware of our triggers and react in a way that helps rather than hurt the relationship
Here are nine steps to help you communicate when you are triggered by your spouse :.
1. Try something different. Developing self-awareness that moves your attention from the irritating way or upset your husband or wife, to focus instead on your reactions to it. You do not want to react in a way that will work for anyone, in any relationship. A new way of behaving can help your spouse become more understanding and cooperation.
2. Always give the benefit of doubt. There is no need to jump to negative conclusions. Stay open minded and curious to know why your spouse might think or act in such a way. The situation is often not just about good or bad priorities, but some legitimately different. Try not to get defensive quickly upon hearing the views of your spouse.
3. Find the part you might be able to understand . Be determined to find a benign reason, even in part, for thinking or actions of your spouse, and recognize.
4. Ask yourself: What triggered my reaction? It's OK to tell your spouse why you are angry. If not, why accept his / her behavior is a challenge for you. What is at stake for you that you need to communicate?
5. Reinsurance Offer. Reassure your spouse that you are not about to report is right or wrong, or that his / her feelings are not important. Also, let your partner know that you are not saying that things must be entirely your way. You must be open to compromise.
6. Be collaborative . See this as a "we" problem. Let your spouse know that you are ready to make some changes as well and work with him / her to find mutually acceptable solutions.
7. If this does not work, stay calm . Do not panic or escalate emotionally. It is all right to express irritation with the attitude of your partner and specify that you are willing to be flexible and keep an open mind, and you want to do, as well.
8. If it still does not work, maybe it's time to get a little angry. Emphasize that you expect your spouse to work as a team with you and his / her attitude is unacceptable.
9. Try Again Later . Take a break and a breath. Check back later to your spouse and say something like, "This is not going too well, you want to try again?" Do not lose focus on how to get your partner to see what an idiot he / she was and not insist on apologies. Go back to step one and try again.
stuck in the "who is right or wrong" perpetual cycle only creates distance and distress between you and your spouse. As hard as it is to have some emotional control during these times it is an essential skill relationship. these steps are a guide to help you communicate and be heard during those times when it seems the harder. Try them and see what works best for you and your spouse.
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