One of the most controversial statements on marriage (or committed) the weekend meeting, and among some Christian or spiritual advisors is "love is a decision." It is a statement that recalls couples in love the person, not the behavior. However, many people do not see why a person should make the decision to love, because they have made the decision several years ago when they said yes to another . on their wedding day the reason is that the feelings of a partner can waver as many things: get along, fighting, deception, power struggles, decision making and so on It. is normal in married life having periods of both romance and disillusionment.This cycle is often repeated - sometimes for days, weeks or months
"love is a decision, it is a judgment ,. it is a promise. If love was just a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and he can go. How can I judge that will forever when my act has no judgment and decision "
-. Erich Fromm The Art of Loving
out of disillusionment by taking the decision to love
one way out of disillusionment is deciding to love. Feelings change and are difficult to control. Love is not just a feeling, it is more than a feeling. Love is a decision. Action follows emotion. Love comes underlying emotions we feel for another human being.
Love is a decision to be open and to share when you do not feel like it. Love is a decision when you do not think your spouse deserves your love. Love is a decision to be open to honest when communicating with your spouse. This means not only to speak but also to listen. This means choosing to forgive when your spouse is remorseful and apologetic after injury. It can also mean not carrying a grudge and the future instead of back.
Making the decision to love includes daily, small things you often do to each other, especially when you do not feel love. Action to decide to love, often the feeling of love will follow.
Making love also means a decision allowing you to be loved. It is the choice to be vulnerable and put yourself out there to let another person. This other person will see the good, the bad, your strengths and weaknesses, and so on.
What is "Love is a decision" means a situation of violence
Making the decision to love does not mean that you love and accept abusive behavior.
If your spouse abused you, either emotionally or physically, making the decision to love is to get out of the abusive situation. You must love yourself as well and take care of your own well-being. You should never allow anyone to threaten your life to put you in danger. Often, making the decision to love is help for you and your spouse if possible.
to make the decision to love does not mean that you love and accept the addiction of your spouse.
You must do whatever you can get your spouse help. If this does not work, you are obliged to know to become as unhealthy as your spouse. You will fall in the right of the pit with them. In fact, the most loving thing you can do, often called "tough love" is not activate.
Making the decision to love does not mean that you love and accept infidelity.
If your spouse is a cheater series, this behavior can never end. Your spouse has to make the decision not to respect their wishes. Continuing to love someone who will be unfaithful is dangerous to your well-being and mental health!
The decision to love is good if your partner has taken this decision as well. This does not mean that you will not both make mistakes or take missteps with each other. This means that you support the promises you made on your wedding day. This does not mean accepting on-gong negative and destructive process that can occur with abuse, addiction and infidelity.
Article updated by Marni Feuerman
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