Rarely do you hear someone say that they wish to remarry ex-husband or wife. I guess the grass really was not greener or time has healed the wound! Whatever the reason, it does not occur on occasion. If you are someone rekindle the romance with a former spouse, there are important things to consider.
Why would anyone want to do first? Here are some possible reasons:
- simple life was unsatisfactory and difficult
- You realized you made a huge mistake
- You divorced for reasons stupid or impulsively
- you fall in love
- has you some personal growth that led you to this relationship
- knowledge
- you have forgiven and / or forget the things your spouse hurts
- family still loves and has a relationship with your ex
If you and your former spouse are planning to return set s' please know these three things:
- The odds are against you.
- you have to take things slowly.
- you should see a marriage counselor and take a course on marriage.
Statistics against remarriage
The statistics are against couples who remarry another. More second marriages end in divorce than first marriages.
Psychology Today states that "... a whopping 60% of second marriages fail and they do it even faster ;. After an average of 10 years, 37% of second marriages have dissolved versus 30% of first marriages. "
Help to make your Second Time Around Together successful
If you think about remarrying your former spouse, here are some suggestions to improve your chances of having a successful second marriage to another:
- to get back together just for the sake of the children is a bad idea because back together. you like (and like) each other and want to be together again.
- If you have children, do not let them know the two are dating you each other again for some time. They could get their hopes that the two reconciled and could put more pressure on you to do even if things are not going too well between the two of you as you like.
- See a marriage counselor. You must learn from your own marital history or both of you are condemned to repeat it. unfinished and unresolved cases will resurface the second time.
- Honestly look at what caused your divorce. If it was finances, be clear about how you spend money. If she was on parenting issues, work conflict first. Whether this was due to infidelity, make sure you treat it, forgive, and restore confidence.
- Admit to your role and responsibility for what went wrong in your first marriage to each other. If you can not easily do this, you will continue to struggle in this or any wedding.
- Take a marriage workshop or course together.
- Keep things completely honest with you two. No game to play. No mind reading attempts. No tacit expectations. Share with one another your expectations, hopes and dreams.
- It is important to recognize that marriage is dead. As difficult as it may be, do not let the ghost harm your new marriage.
- Do not be afraid to deal with past problems that have caused a conflict between the two.
- Do not dwell on your mistakes. Focus on your future together.
- consider a prenuptial agreement
- Have reasonable expectations. At heart, you will marry the same person.
- The reconstruction of a new foundation takes time and effort.
- Be realistic. If you learn through meetings and advice that things are not right, trust your gut.
- Staying positive and hopeful.
Build trust and make a marriage work after divorce requires a firm commitment to the relationship by both of you. Again, do not rush into a second marriage with your former spouse. Take time to understand your relationship and a more complete.
* Updated article by Marni Feuerman
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