We hope you do not think compromise with your spouse is to give, give, sell, walking a tightrope, or losing control. When we use the word compromise We will not yield much to maintain peace or let you dominate. It is especially important not to give in if it means going against your own moral beliefs or transferor could endanger your well-being physically, emotionally or legally. Make sure your agreement / compromise are mutual decisions
Many believe that life is full of compromises -. Especially in marriage. Others believe that being able to reach an agreement rather than compromise is better for a wedding
Diane Lore :. "The therapists also say it is important to realize that no marriage is perfect and that fights are often part of the ebb and flow compromise"
Source :. Diane Lore. "Fight Fairly and maintain peace in your relationship." . WebMD.com
Sophie Keller. "The word compromise never sat well with me, it always seems a bit stuffy and means sacrificing my own needs for someone other so instead of compromising. I think reaching an agreement. in the same way that the word compromise suggests taking away what I want, the word agreement suggests that I am free, on my own to make a decision with my partner that works for both. with this decision we, we take another account and our goal is to take what we both want and make it work for both of us "
Source:. Sophie Keller. "Marriage Advice: to reach an agreement rather than compromise." HuffingtonPost.com. 12/13/2011.
One of the worst things you can do in your marriage is to believe that your way is the only way or go the route of saying 'it either. "both approaches are ways to avoid listening and communication with your spouse.
A lack of respect for each other beliefs can cause you to not be able to fill your differences by agreeing to disagree and you find yourself disagreeing intensely and constantly arguing.
create win / win situations
A good compromise is not only to avoid conflicts. A successful compromise agreement is one in which you and your spouse together create a win / win situation.- Try to see both sides of an issue. Share each other's needs, thoughts, concerns and feelings can help mitigate resentment and the feeling of being threatened.
- Remember to use I statements, the just struggle, and do not close your spouse using the silent treatment.
- As you negotiate, seek common ground and common goals
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John Gottman :. "Before you try to resolve a conflict, remember that the cornerstone of any compromise is the fourth principle of marriage. - Accept the influence This means that for a compromise to work, you can not have a closed mind to the views of your spouse desires and you do not have to agree with everything your spouse says or. believes, but to be honest open considering his mail ... Often, compromise is just a matter of talking about your differences and preferences in a systematic way "
Source :. John M. Gottman, Nan Silver. The seven principles for making marriage work. 00. pgs. . 181-182 - accept another
Megan Northrup: .. "Communicating basic acceptance of the personality of your partner is essential to solve any marital problems it is impossible for two people to solve their problems when everyone feels criticized, hated or misunderstood by the other "
Source :. Megan Northrup. "Solve your" solvable problems. "
If you can not or will not compromise
If any of you are too rigid or too stubborn or too insensitive or too set in your ways of reaching a compromise, or if the problem is when compromise is impossible to agree to disagree with the other can be the best choice.. When you agree to disagree, you have to let go of any lingering feelings of resentment About the question that is the apple of discordSome issues where a compromise can be very difficult or impossible include:
- to have children or not
- . a difference of parenting styles.
- the use of pornography.
- incompatible values such as having a TV in the house or not.
- physical violence or emotional.
- Jealousy.
- Do not keep your word.
- More ...
Note: If a problem appears to be insoluble and continues to have a negative impact on your marriage, see a marriage counselor using