Children need a lot of energy and attention. Education of children, however, should not be something couples are committed to the detriment of their marriage. If this is the case, nobody wins! You also need to think ahead to the quality of your marriage once the children leave home. If you have not fed your marriage, you will face serious problems at that time
Here are some reasons why people might (consciously or unconsciously) create a wedding centered children :.
- to ignore marital problems
- to make less effort to romance
- to create a barrier to intimacy
- to have a sense of control
- to "get it right this time" and not do what your parents.
a balance of search points and professional opinion to the need to balance the education of children with the privacy needs of your relationship with your partner. According to the leading marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman, "The sad irony is that in trying to create the perfect life for their children, these parents fail to provide what children need most - a home happy. "a marriage takes a back seat to the needs of children eventually becomes troubled.
the tension and stress in the home are often felt by children . children can actually become rather spoiled and right. and why not they when the world revolves around them? they learn the "hierarchy" appropriate authority in the house. if you did not know, the both parents must be at the top
Alternately, parents who care for their wedding, while at the same time raising their children, provide the following:
- a suitable model of what a mature relationship like
- an image of a romantic liaison secure
- Parents who are stressed happier and less
- a peaceful and balanced home.
There are a few ways that you can turn things in your marriage if you believe that one or both of you are too focused on the child. Remember to start with small changes. Do not expect a radical overhaul, but rather aim for a slow, gradual transition to a more balanced family structure.
- Have an open discussion on the issue. Not Blaming allowed! Talk about how you can work as a team to put more energy and focus on your relationship with the other. Ask each other, "What is missing?" What you need to do both as regards the emotional intimacy of the other?
- Help each other with better parenting. You will need both to support each other and be on the same page to set limits and boundaries with children. When your children begin to hear "no" more often, they will probably not respond positively. They are not used to this! They may even be more because you are "changing the rules in the middle of the game." For example, one evening you could skip the G-rated animated film to go on a date night. That children approve or not, they whine and pout or not, you make the decision and stick with it. Do something for you as a couple.
- Make it a point to have conversations that are not about children. Also, keep in touch during the day just to check not just to discuss the latest problem in school with little Johnny or go to the weekly activity schedule.
- Try new things together. Sharing special activities together will help keep the spark alive. Each activity does not and should not only be suitable for children.
- Be affectionate to children. This may even embarrass them or they might make fun of you. Despite that, basically, they know it is a positive thing. You model what a relationship looks like.
- Share household responsibilities and tasks to you is not completely burned out. You need some energy for each other! Better yet, give your children tasks that are age-appropriate. This is both healthy and good for their sense of competence and self-esteem.
Parents do not have to sacrifice their needs completely (and the wants and desires) for the good of their children. It will be imperative to make decisions based on what is good for each family member individually, and what is good for the whole family as a unit. temporary misfortune of your children to these changes will subside as they adapt to the new structure, and the changes will definitely pay in the future for you and your children.
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION, BUY FROM AMAZON: 10 LESSONS TO TRANSFORM YOUR MARRIAGE BY DRS. JOHN & JULIE Gottman
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