Pornography and its impact on adult sexual relationships is controversial. Pornography is any form of media created to awaken sexually user, especially the media which is distributed commercially. At that time, pornography is a multi million. Hard-core pornography is of particular concern because of pictures illustrating the penetration, aggression and sexual interactions between adults first. Since the migration of pornography in magazines and videos to a digital format, it is easily accessible, easily kept private and anonymous. Women at times see porn, but men are still by far the biggest users. Unfortunately, the use of pornography can have a conjugal intimacy impact significantly.
What are the signs that a person may have a problem with pornography?
"Detachment during sex, the sex avoidance and in some cases, requests to use porn to sex" are repeated typical signs, according to Michael Taylor, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Louisville, Kentucky.
According to Taylor, excessive private use of computers and other electronic devices is another red flag. Janie Lacy, a specialist Mental Health Counselor and Certified Addiction Licensed in Orlando, Florida is also concerned when the spouse is a "loss of interest in sex or the other extreme of an insatiable sexual desire. There may also be pressure to try new or unusual sexual acts that are not already discussed or practiced in the relationship. "Both therapists warn that these behaviors can be matched with an increase of emotional disconnection from the porn user . It is also helpful to know the history to access your spouse pornography earlier in his life (eg at an unusually young age) and general use before the wedding.
what are the signs that pornography is now damaging the marriage
Dr. Barbara Winter, a psychologist and certified sex therapist in Boca Raton, Florida, said: "a gradual transition or marked in cyberspace must remove something, and it is usually the attachment in marriage and / or family. This detachment results in a range of something else, such as pornography, or balance to soothe his emotional state ". She said that at this stage, "Marriage is neglected. The partners become lonely, isolated and betrayed."
Lacy believes "Pornography can reduce the feeling of self-esteem and self-esteem of women because it can be compared to the women that her husband is the display on the screen." She sees it as a slippery slope to addiction. It can also lead to "an increase in the progression of sex deviant rougher or more." This contributes to the husband increasingly focused on their needs and not those of his wife.
All experts agree that a detachment of emotion during sex, and detachment of the relationship as a whole, is very dangerous for the viability of marriage. "Pornography is a poor substitute for sex liaison release. The vulnerability is eliminated in pornography, and that makes it too simplistic to produce security and connection that are an important part of the physical interaction of a couple, "Taylor notes. It is also concerned about the exploitativeness women in porn and the "instant gratification" is obtained from the use of pornography. Men can become "impatient" or "impersonal" during sex, ignoring the necessary preliminary or day to day flirtations that lead to sex. These are not to be taken for granted "moments in the couple's life powerfully connect". He emphasizes: "The men are particularly at risk for the use of sex as a substitute for having to use the emotional skills they are unsure or uncomfortable, and it strengthens porn"
. If women try to see porn with their husbands "please" them?
This is not a case of "If you can not beat them, join them . "it does not work to resolve this issue. Wives who are regularly porn with their husbands because they believe it will make them happy husband will suffer negative consequences. They generally feel "sorrow, betrayal, rejection, resentment, suspicious, used, not good enough", according to Lacy. She warns that this should not become a repetitive habit in marriage. Taylor sees in his practice that women are often willing to "spice up" the relationship, but do not want to use porn as a "simplistic substitute." He believes that "experimentation" is understandable, but where there is potential for dependence, "nice can strengthen or excuse avoidant or abusive dynamic."
what woman should do if she believes that pornography is now a problem?
wives be assertive. if it seems like a minor problem, the woman should "discuss how she feels unimportant, degraded, disconnected or lonely and help him readjust his heart needs love, security and security, "Taylor said. If there is an active addiction, wait denial. It is good to insist that the husband go to counseling to deal with problems. It is best to seek a specialist certified sex therapist or certified sexual addiction, even if the woman has to get the ball rolling. Marriage counseling is an essential part of the healing process. Both Taylor and Winter think of going to a professional, even together in the beginning, is a good first step. Winter warns "Most partners deny, deny, deny, and it often takes a brutal threat (quit) to get someone to admit to his questions. The treatment for drug addicts and their partners can last 3-5 years so the commitment must be fierce. "
overall, the use of pornography is a risky business that can wreak havoc on a relationship if used in excess. The best way to treat sexual issues is to talk and explore together how to improve your sex life. There are many other healthy options to try it will not put your marriage in danger. Keep the emotional connection and communication in your marriage is critical. If pornography arises, it can be seen as an opportunity to express sexual needs or to assess whether it is a problem that requires expert help. Do not "sweep under the carpet." This is often overlooked addiction that can destroy your marriage if you do not get you back on track.
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