financial problems in marriage like uncertainty, unemployment and financial difficulties hurting your marriage if both of you do not talk with each other or if one of you prefer to hide your head in the sand. Remember to talk and deal with the reality of money problems.
Tips for Overcoming the storm and handling financial Rough Waters because of unemployment
When the short-term unemployment becomes long-term unemployment and unemployment benefits are exhausted, panic feelings, depression, guilt, blame, fear and impotence may determine. the worst thing you can do is blame your unemployed spouse or yourself for the situation.
Recognize your wedding is probably stressed Learn ways to cope with stress working for you two
Stephanie Coontz: .. "A critical point is whether couples can remember and express the things they admire each other. stressed people often stop to notice and recognize things relevant to their partners or children do, just answering those irritants. This undermines "gratitude economy" that supports trust and mutual obligations in a healthy family, creating the psychological equivalent of a credit crunch " Source:". husbands, wives and Hard Times - History can not to be a guide. " NYTImes.com. 08/04/09.
You must speak. Do not hide your heads in the sand. Although it can be difficult to talk about your financial situation. Focus on what you can do for your financial problems, then try to do it
Pepper Schwartz: .. "Tough times also require difficult discussions - and sometimes that builds more privacy and Couples of resilience often don 't talk enough about deeply held values, feelings about sacrifice, the primacy of the relationship on the job, parenting, etc. This is especially true of the money ". happy "to determine the budget and how much they need to be a bad economy may force people to face these difficult conversations If couples are honest and compassionate to one another, if they learn to work on as a team, they could emerge with a better relationship " Source:" .. husbands, wives and hard times - Conversations difficult but valuable. " NYTImes.com. . 08/04/09
"23 percent of survey respondents said they will not do things differently, even if the economy continues to weaken hoping for the best is not a strategy . Planning ahead is the best way to protect your family and build a strong financial future " Source:" MMI provides tips to cope with financial difficulties, "Business Wire.. 09/07/08.
Be realistic. List your fixed expenses and flexible expenses. Identify where you can not cut and where you can reduce as cutting the cable or satellite TV, looking for a cheaper phone plan, deciding not to eat out, etc. Analyze what would be significant changes in your budget and it would not make financial sense. For example, for some couples, the transition to higher deductibles in automobile, home and health insurance would be beneficial. For others, such a move could make the worst family finance in the long term. Consider getting help recycle, grow a kitchen garden or see if you can get a garden plot in a community garden, be open to small jobs or take a temporary position, consider starting your own small business .
"Our relationship dynamics and resentments are played with the money," says Jenn Berman, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist. "It is not uncommon for a person to get angry at her husband, then go out and buy something for revenge" Source: Heather Hatfield, "marriage and money management problems.", WebMd. com
Control your expenses . Do not rely on credit cards, except in an emergency or for health care. If you have savings, try not to dip into your savings, unless you consider both the expenditure absolutely necessary.
Get help. Do not let your pride or ego prevent you from getting the help you and your family need to get back on your feet. Call 211 for information on services available in your area. You might be eligible for assistance for food, child care, medical care, paying your utilities, and more. If unemployment has you live paycheck to paycheck and you are behind on your bills, learn your legal rights regarding your debts, then talk with your creditors about your financial problems.
"Trying to prove your spouse evil is the wrong way to go," said psychologist Jonathan Rich, author of guide the couple to love and money . Aim instead to create a plan that works for both of you " Source: Pat Regnier and Amanda Gengler". Marriage and Money: Get it Right "Cnn.com 3/14/06
be honest Share your concerns and expectations of the other and your financial problems. both financial decisions you have made. Share what you are willing to do and what you will not do. Some decisions you may face because of unemployment include relocation, downsizing to a residence smaller, taking the jobs you would not have considered it a year ago, and go back to school to change your career. do not put your discussions about financial problems in a win-lose situation.
do not run from your problems . do not try to escape your unemployment and financial problems. overeating, smoking, drinking, over expenses do not sleep, etc. will only make your situation. Remember the importance of taking care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. This means regular sleep, a healthy diet, exercise and have fun and laughter in your life. Talking with each other on free play activities for you and your children.
Do not give up. If you or your spouse have been or are severely depressed, then ask for help is not an option. Do not wait until it's too late to save your marriage.
Do you have any tips you can give to others who are struggling with unemployment and financial stress in their marriage? Please share your tips.
