According to MacMillonDictionary.com "decouple consciously" refers to "the act of ending a marriage or a relationship, but in a way that is seen as a very positive step by both parties, who each believe their lives will be better to do. "The couple made a serious attempt to remain friends and co-parent if they have children. It is a very respectful way to end a long-term relationship.
The phrase was thrust into the media in 2014 after being used by actress Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, rocker Chris Martin, who announced the dissolution of their marriage online while writing their intention of "consciously uncouple" . The use of this terminology upturn is just a euphemism for an amicable separation or amicable divorce. The term was critical views in the media as typical nonsense invented celebrity. However, his derision by journalists brought more attention to it, that the popularization of the phrase.
Katherine Woodward Thomas is the only credit with the term after she wrote a book of self-help with the same title. His intentions are, of course, to help couples separate peacefully. Regardless of what people might think of the word, the concept is an ideal that all couples should aim if they are at such a point in their lives. However, science tells us that this rarely happens
Researcher Diane Vaughan discusses in his book Decoupling :. Turning Points in Intimate Relationships (190), how really split couples. Several conclusions can be drawn from his extensive work with couples ending their relationship. First, while uncoupling begins with a secret . One of the partners (the "Offeror") generally feels dissatisfied with the relationship or thinks it was a mistake. The initiator remains calm and discusses their feelings on their own. Decoupling usually well before someone actually starts launching a break
Instead of directly communicate thoughts and feelings with their spouse or partner, the initiators engage in these types of behaviors: .
- is the initiator of direct and indirect attempts to "fix" their partner is often clueless about the thoughts that the other is having.
- The initiator begins to find satisfaction outside the relationship. The energy is channeled into hobbies, friendships, children, or a case.
- The initiator made significant changes unilaterally. There is more discussion and negotiation. There is a change of "we-ness" to "me-ness".
- The initiator begins to redefine their partner and the relationship in negative terms. History is rewritten ... good times are forgotten. Attempts are made to justify the thoughts and feelings about wanting to end the relationship.
- The initiator finds ways to create distance from the partner. This can be in their body language, mood, spend time away, become too critical, complaining or acting passive-aggressive.
- The initiator operates from fear and is plagued by uncertainty. He or she confuses known issues with respect to unknown problems. It is very difficult to face the truth when taking a drastic life decision.
- The initiator is a "person of transition." The initiator begins to confide in someone who will help bridge the gap between the old life and the new life. This can be a lover, friend, divorce lawyer or therapist. It can be someone who has gone through the divorce process that can serve as a role model of sorts.
The daily routine of life makes it easier for the unfortunate partner to slide slowly and gradually, at first psychologically and possibly physically. Initiators have the benefit of time to gather the resources needed to decouple when they are good and ready. The lack of these resources can create major obstacles to the separation.
The uncoupling process typically begins this secret and rather "unconscious." Or, at least consciously that the unfortunate partner. The Offeror fails to communicate their intense dissatisfaction with the relationship. Accordingly, when the initiator makes a bold move to end things, it is often too late for the other partner to do something to change the decision.
This is not a condemnation of the offeror or of a judgment of the reasons why people choose to leave their marriage or long term relationship. It is strictly based on the collection of data how people go about it. Understanding this can help couples to adopt a more courageous and more open approach and take corrective action sooner rather than later, if one or both are unhappy in their relationship. A result of early action and discussion may be that couples actually end up staying together for the long haul
FOR FURTHER INFORMATION, BUY FROM AMAZON :. UNCOUPLING, TURNING POINTS IN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS BY DIANE VAUGHAN AND UNCOUPLING AWARE: FIVE STEPS TO LIVE HAPPY AFTER EVEN BY KATHERINE WOODWARD THOMAS
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1 comments:
As I see it, it's stupid to break up and divorce if you have friendly relationship and everything is fine between you in general.Little things can be fixed.
ReplyI imagine divorce if there are really serious issues in the couple like cheating which is a very popular reason for divorcing.I found my husband cheated on me through mspylite.com . Saw how he was sexting with the other woman for years from time to time. That was unbearable for me that's why I asked for divorce.