If you are married, chances are you've had a fair share of ups and downs, difficult challenges and time that divorce has even crossed your mind. Know that you expectations have a significant impact on how you live your marriage
Here are some questions :.
Is your marriage on the rocks?
Are you satisfied or dissatisfied with your marriage?
Is the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence?
Are you disappointed because your marriage is not what you expected it to be?
Do you think that other weddings do not know boredom, loneliness, cheating, or lack of sex?
do you believe in a perfect marriage?
do you think your spouse can make you happy?
Are you thinking about leaving your marriage?
Are you having thoughts of divorce?
do you find yourself thinking "is this all there is?"
is that the sense of spontaneity and lack the spark in your marriage?
are you resent your spouse?
Disillusionment in marriage
If you have answered yes to some (or most) of these questions, it is likely to be marital "disillusionment." Such disillusionment is actually quite normal.
There is often a "cycle of romance" which includes both disillusionment and joy. This concept is discussed during the wedding weekend Encounter.
the level of happiness does not change instantly once you walk down the aisle. the problems do not magically disappear. Being able to make a decision to love and move in -delà feelings of disappointment or resentment is a major key to having a long marriage.
the ways of disappointment and Unhappiness
There are many direct path to disappointment and sadness in a marriage:
- False expectations
- Believing in myths about marriage
- Thinking that someone else can make you happy
- Believing your spouse should be able to read your mind
- Think your spouse should be able to meet all your needs
- Wanting everything do together
- Lose your self and who you are
- Want to have a perfect wedding
- constantly comparing your marriage to others based on assumptions
ways to get Out of disillusionment
- Put yourself at the top of your to do list
- make a decision to love
- Discuss each other's expectations about your marriage
- Ask what you want
- Accepting that your marriage (a person) is not perfect
- Hug and kiss your spouse often
- Don 't let anger take over. Learn to let go and forgive
- See what is happening in your own life
- Do not be manipulative or allow yourself to be manipulated
- Think about the changes you can be a better partner
when is it time to leave?
What happens when the above suggestions do not work? It may be time to leave your marriage when
- There are physical or psychological violence or serial adultery
- It is supported resentment, agony, pain or misfortune and you no more. the energy to fight for your relationship.
- You mentioned your needs, which are not unreasonable, and your spouse refuses to answer.
- You are more sad than happy in your marriage.
- You offer help and your spouse refuses.
Wake Up Call
Remember that disillusionment continue in your marriage could be a wake up call for you if you take your marriage for granted or if your marriage is in a rut. You can check some couples counseling professionals, read a self-help relationship book together or try a couples workshop. Just to show you what conversation topic in a sensitive way. Speak from the heart and state how you feel. Do not just complain about the problem, propose some solutions.
Do not Forget the Positive
Marriage is generally cheerful, filling, and fun. Sometimes in the midst of everyday life, you can forget the positive side of being in a marriage relationship. Reminisce about what attracted you to your spouse first. Reflect on the strengths you have in your marriage as they are more likely there!
* Updated article by Marni Feuerman
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