book Wired for Dating: Understanding How neurobiology and attachment style can help you find your ideal companion
Author: Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, Forward by Harville Hendrix Ph.D. LaKelly and Kelly Hunt, PhD
Genre: Non-fiction, the self-help
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
date of publication: January 1, 2016
further information: Available in paperback (0 pages), e-reader, audio
Dr. StanTatkin rang in the new year with the release of Wired for Dating, followed by Wired for love his earlier self-help book about love and relationships . This book is for anyone looking for love, marriage or a long term relationship. It takes a "psychobiological approach" in this book, using both science and psychology as the basis of the strategy meetings. The overall message is good: let your feelings and your instincts guide you. It is hard to argue with that, after reading the overwhelming evidence that it provides!
In Fil of for Dating , Dr. Tatkin addresses myths about love, get past the hype, and above all, learn to understand your "style attachment. "It also addresses how different attachment styles interact and how understanding these processes can be helpful to successful dating.
this simplifies neurobiology and attachment, which can be quite complicated, in understandable language daily and specific examples
Dr. Tatkin down the main attachment styles into three categories easily understood. anchors (secure attachment style), islands (avoidant attachment style) and waves (anxious attachment style). the language he uses is indulgent, but it is also good to recognize that everyone has a category, and these are not necessarily negative labels. Knowing your attachment style and the style of your partner is of critical importance. In reading Wired for Dating , you will learn how your styles interact and how to best respond to the other.
Like any relationship, sometimes you need to know when to walk away. Dr. Tatkin includes a chapter on the break, and it is realistic that all relationships are meant to be. Wired for Dating also discusses how to keep your relationship in the long term.
To guide book reading portions includes several exercises that I highly recommend you follow. Dr. Tatkin discusses the importance of understanding the full consciousness, but not in sufficient detail. Further development on mindfulness or recommendations for further reading can be useful for readers to explore these techniques further.
The main drawback of this book is that it can be too short. I wish Dr. Tatkin to address potential concerns that arise during the dating process. For example, how do a better job handling attraction to the "wrong type" of person. A typical stumbling block for singles is attracted to a person who is "not good" for them or have the inability to recognize red flags. Another single fear expressed is handling rejection during encounters difficulty. How tolerate negative emotions after being dumped (or having to empty someone else) could also be addressed in a psychobiological perspective.
Overall, I recommend this book to anyone out or thinking of dating, regardless of sexual orientation or what stage of life you are (never married, after divorce or widowed). Neuroscience has much to offer to our understanding of love, long-term bonding, attachment and coupling. We should take more advantage of these scientific concepts that can teach us. Our lives would be greatly enriched by doing so.
The kind of self-help is not too saturated yet by neuroscience, but I'm sure it will be in the near future. This will make it difficult for readers to decipher what is sound, solid advice and it is not. Wired for Dating always comes at the forefront of this growing field and is a resource I certainly considered healthy, solid and worth the read. I especially like that this book was developed using reliable sources. Dr. Tatkin studied and learned from some of the best in the field, and it shows
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