definition: have you ever been so frustrated that the thing that your spouse has said or done was the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back" and you just "lost" and threw a lot of history on your spouse? If you did, then you Gunny sacked.
Gunnysacking in a marriage is when you stick to the wounds of the past, concerns, complaints, resentments and irritations until you can not stand it anymore. Then, you react more to a minor conflict or believe you have reached the last straw in your marriage. Gunnysacking can make it difficult for both of you to solve the current problems.
The overreaction usually leads to dumping all the old wounds on your spouse at a time that not only makes the real issue under discussion is lost in the melee, but it can often overwhelm your partner and highlights defensive in your spouse. Nothing positive is accomplished when gunnysacking is used in your wedding.
Imagine a large bag in burlap. You can not see what is in the bag when closed.
When you hide issues from the past and hurt feelings, etc., in a mental bag like that, your spouse does not know and can not see it who is there. Dumping all the contents out and your spouse is very unfair and harmful. This gunnysacking.
With screaming, nagging, manipulation, sarcasm, criticism, espionage, sabotage, gas lighting, monologuing, and do not fight fair, gunnysacking is one of many behaviors hostile that can compromise a wedding.
You can avoid gunnysacking discussing the problems when they occur. You can not always solve the problems then, but you can learn to disagree
what others have to say about Gunnysacking :.
John Crosby "Gunnysacking is dishonest because the author allows the partner to go on thinking that all is well when all is not well ... the gunnysacker will continue and so on until the bag is empty. Once completed the gunnysacker usually feel relieved ... it's a dirty fight behavior because it saves up the past and ammunition in this release When you are on the receiving end of the explosive tirade of a gunnysacker you are bound to feel powerless and unfairly attacked "Source: .. John F. Crosby, PhD marriage Reasons :. If only I had known 05, pp. . 111-112
Laura K. Guerrero: "Rather than discuss each issue when it first surfaces, the problems are placed in a metaphorical burlap bag and presented at a time."
Source: Laura K . Guerrero, Peter A. Anderson, Walid A. Afifi. Close Encounters :. Communication in relations " 2010 pg 343.
Dennis Coon :." persistent feelings, either positive or negative, must be expressed. Gunnysacking refers to safeguarding the feelings and complaints. These are then "dumped" during an argument or are used as ammunition in a fight. Gunnysacking is very destructive to a relationship "
Source :. Dennis Coon, John O. Mitterer Introduction to Psychology: Gateways ... the mind and behavior 2010. pg 382.
TJ Addington "Gunnysacking happens when we take irritations, insults or offenses other and throw them in our gunnysack rather than deal with them either by a frank conversation or forgive them can not carry one. heavy burlap bag never without the weight of it affecting us. When gunnysack gets pretty full of unresolved issues, it is likely to explode with an eruption of emotion that we regret later "
Source :. TJ Addington "... Do gunnysack stuff" LeadingFromtheSandbox.blogspot.com 1/20 /2012.
Anne Osborne Kilpatrick: "Gunny bag is a technique that leads to leave the issues build without confronting. In essence, the questions then become "the straw that breaks the camel's back. "
Source: ... Anne Osborne Kilpatrick, James A. Johnson Administration Manual and health policies 1999. pg 889.
alias: evasive, kitchen-sinking, garbage dumping
Alternate Spellings :. Gunny bag