Being reliable is one of the best qualities people look for in a partner, and it should be. If one or both of you can not depend on each other, the marriage viability is questionable.
When you make a promise to your spouse or say you will do something for your spouse or family, then you do not keep your word, you let your partner down and hurt your marriage . Keep your word and follow through on your promises helps to build confidence that your spouse has in you. Do not keep your word tells your spouse that you do not care all. If perhaps even make your spouse feel unloved or unimportant.
"interdependence," or to be able to rely on each other, is part of what makes a wedding special. Some people reduce their need for others. This is often the result of experiences in early childhood when there was not a reliable goalkeeper available. So these people learn to take care of themselves and not reach for others to help or dependence.
Another possibility is that the person has been raised in a household filled with chaos. There was no consistency and a poor model of a mature marriage was not available.
How to Keep Your Word or Follow Through on Promises
- Do not say you'll do something if you can not do it. Be open and honest.
- Do not say, "I did not intend to _____ (forget / you hurt / not do, etc.) This is meaningless.
- If you realize that you can not keep your promise, be honest and say. It is important that you are at the front with the reason why you can not keep your word.
- If you have changed your mind and do not want to keep your promise, you need to be honest with your partner about why you think you made the first promise and why not follow now through.
- If you broke a promise because you are often forgetful, consider using some of the highest of high-tech means to be reminded of the things you said you would. You can receive alerts via email, automatic reminders to your calendar program on your computer, and receive text messages or voice reminder on your cell phone.
- you can give your spouse permission to remind you, too, with the understanding that you will not consider the recall to harass.
- Think of how it feels to you when someone does not come through for you or keep their promise. Put yourself in the shoes of your spouses.
- Explore and understand why you do not keep your word. Do you need a few tips to work through a problem child? Do you need treatment for ADD or another mental health problem? Is there another problem in your marriage and you're passive-aggressive?
Whatever the reason, it is essential for both spouses to be able to rely on each other. Both spouses must fulfill their promises and not be harassed or constantly reminded to do so. Do not keep your word is damaging to your marriage and leave it at risk of divorce.
* Updated article by Marni Feuerman
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