Be honest with each other does not mean that you have to share every single thought, dream, fear, or fantasy with your partner. Honesty can be a double-edged sword in your marriage. Knowing what to share and not share is an important communication skill for couples to learn and use in their marriage.
Keeping Secrets and the right to privacy
- "You have the right to privacy - in marriage, in family, in any relationship, in a - the right to keep some of your secret of life, no matter how trivial or important, simply because you want it to be that way. and you are entitled to only part of each day, each week and every year to spend time with yourself. " - From the Mental Health Valley
If you do not respect the sense of privacy, both emotionally and physically, for you and your spouse, you limit your intimacy with another. You can not be intimate with your partner without being in contact with the innermost parts of yourself.
Is honesty always the best policy?
There are good reasons to keep a secret from your spouse.There are many couples who have been married for a long time who have personal secrets they are not shared with their spouse. The sense of space and the sense of private self is important for many people.
Know when to share a secret
If you have a secret that you think you should share, but you are not sure doing, look at your own physical reactions when you hide the secret. If your blood pressure increases, or if you find yourself blinking more quickly, or your breathing is heavy, or you sweat more, so they could be clues that you need to share that particular secret.If you want to keep a secret because you do not want to face a responsibility in your marriage, it can create problems. Withholding facts or information of your spouse needs to know in decision making is a harmful manipulation. Other secrets that can hurt your marriage are those concerning employment problems, not to pay the bills, not revealing a disease, seeing family and friends secretly lie about how you spend the money, and having an affair.
When Stay calm
If you share a secret or difficult issue with your spouse, realize that these times are not a good time to reveal all.- at bedtime.
- If any of you are drunk.
- When any of you are in a stressful situation.
- During periods of grumpiness.
- If you or your spouse are angry.
- When any of you are tired or ill.
Seeking Help
honesty and trust are vital to the success of a marriage. There is a thin line between what secrets are acceptable and those that will haunt one person and injured a wedding.If you start to feel the distance in your marriage, and I think it may be the result of a secret, then it's time to consult a professional counselor or minister.