Mental illness is very hard on a marriage. Stress can often reach crisis level. You can also drop in a model where disease management becomes role around which the relationship is centered. Mental illness does not have to destroy a marriage, even with stress and accent it brings. Despite the obvious challenges, there are ways to maintain a healthy relationship when your partner has a mental illness.
Show support and sympathy to your spouse.
For a newly diagnosed person, this news can be devastating, embarrassing and even frightening. The uncertainty and the stigma associated with mental illness can cause damage to worry that you may not like or desire, and perhaps do not want to marry them. It is important to let your spouse know that you are there and like it, "in sickness and in health." This reassure go a long way towards strengthening his determination to get professional help and learn the best ways to manage the disease.
on the other hand, a negative reaction you can potentially exacerbate symptoms of mental illness and to attract additional sense of hopelessness.
Learn.
Many people are misinformed about mental illness or based on inaccurate information. There is a lot of misinformation about the causes and best treatment options for various mental health disorders. The best absolute action plan is to seek psychological and medical professionals of high quality, then look for literature and online information on the specific diagnosis only legitimate sources! Web sites that depend on you should have a good reputation, or are recommended by your doctor or psychotherapist. Examples are WebMD, Mayo Clinic and Medline Plus About.com.
The symptoms of mental illness can be daunting and confusing. It's easy to think that your spouse is away, lazy, distracted, irritable or irrational. Some of these "character defects" may actually be symptoms of mental illness. Treatment with therapy and effective drugs are crucial. Mental health professionals can also learn about the role that you can and should play in the plan processing of your spouse.
organizations such as the national Alliance on mental illness (NAMI), depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA), or mental health America (MHA) are also very good sources of practical information, resources and support.
do not become his therapist or facilitator.
beyond educate you on how to help your spouse, it is your responsibility to be his therapist. This will not work for long term or one of you for the rest of your family. This is inappropriate, even if you are a trained professional mental health . Let go and let the professionals outside of your marriage do their work with your spouse. Your role is to give love, support and sympathy for your partner during their recovery efforts.
In addition, people with mental illness are still responsible for taking steps to manage their disease so they can be healthy and productive as partners and in other areas of life. You should not become their "crutch" or facilitator. They must take some responsibility (as much as possible, given their personal circumstances) for their own treatment plan and well-being, and for how their illness affect you and others.
Seek individual and couples counseling .
therapy can help you process your feelings in a healthy way, both for your own adaptation and as a way to communicate with your partner. Counseling is a fantastic resource to help take a step back, orientation and balance in a situation that may otherwise quickly get out of hand. As the spouse of a person with a mental health problem, it is not uncommon to discover an array of frightening emotions that you think you should not be having ... feelings such as hatred, frustration or anger. Emotional exhaustion is not uncommon. These painful emotions can be explored productively with appropriate advice. Couples can also learn to set expectations and healthy boundaries. Couples counseling can also help you from falling into the unhealthy dynamic. For example, the partner "healthy" runs the risk of blaming everything that goes wrong in the relationship partner with mental illness. It is not productive for either of you.
The practice of regular self-care .
Self-care is not selfish, but a necessity if you have a spouse with mental health problems. If you do not focus on your own health, you are at risk of being sucked into the vortex of mental illness, putting your marriage at risk. Back to basics: get enough sleep, do regular exercise, eat well, spend time with friends or relatives, and participate in activities or hobbies that you enjoy. Be very careful to get to where you encounter the "caregiver fatigue" or burnout. This is a common scenario when dealing with a sick or disabled partner. It is essential to take care of your own health.
Life can throw major challenges in your marriage if your spouse is diagnosed with mental illness. Ask yourself if you respond well to this new scenario, and other challenges in your life. You are intensifying a way you that you are proud of or are you avoiding doing your part to help your spouse, your family, your marriage, and yourself? Successful couples do not allow mental illness to destroy their marriage, but rather see this fact as a challenge to manage and overcome. Both partners must be responsible for themselves and have a healthy reaction and response to unexpected situations or problems to thrive. You can also make adjustments so that the "new" the reality of marriage can become a manageable and happy situation.
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