It took time to get your marriage in a rut. It will take time to get your wedding on a rut. Here's a seven-step approach to help both of you get your wedding on a rut and to repair your marriage.
Driving on the highway
When you take a trip on a motorway traffic generally moves along pretty well. However, there are times when you may find yourself stuck in deadlock the traffic speed along at 20 mph.You may experience a temptation to get off the highway. Secondary roads through the different cities seem very clear, and move along in agreement. Then you think of the traffic lights and curves and turns and you reconsider this decision.
Marriage is like driving on motorways. It can be easy for your relationship get bogged down in traffic and rush of everyday life.
Your communication can just crawl along, slower and slower, until you are tempted to think that another relationship can be the response to being stuck in a rut.
Hopefully after you stop to consider the reality of your life and you each look at your own responsibility for your marriage being in a rut, both of you will realize that the way "easy or quick" the changing relationships will not make your lives better.
September approaches to get out of a Rut in your marriage
So what do you do when the highway is a death or stop your marriage feels like it is on a dead end? A roadmap with alternative routes or a GPS device using the highway. The way out of the rut is to reconnect with each other.- One Weekend. Take a weekend in a quiet place with no kids, no TV, no Internet, no chores, not office work for you distract one another. Make this time just for you two. Use this time to talk with each other. Talk about good memories, dreams of the future, concerns and current fears.
- A weekly date. If finances are tight or you can not be away from your children for a weekend, find a way to spend time alone with each other every week. Saying you'll monthly dates are not good enough when your marriage is in a rut. You need more time to reconnect with each other.
- Peaceful House. Watch your home environment. If you do not have room in your home that is clean and welcoming and create such a space. Decide together to make at least one room of your home free of clutter. If you can not get a clean room in a weekend together, spend 15 minutes each day to work on the piece. You both need a space that allows you to feel relaxed and calm. Such an environment can make you feel good about yourself and your marriage.
- Write a letter. When talking about sensitive issues in your marriage, express yourself without showing hostility. Do not blame your spouse. Keep the sarcasm of the conversation. Examine your own attitudes about the issue to see if you are contributing to the problem in your marriage. If this is difficult for you to do, write down your thoughts and feelings on an issue, wait a day or two, then re-read what you wrote before giving the letter to your spouse.
- Make plans for your future together. Ask yourself if you live the way you want to live. Otherwise, do some brainstorming on strategies to get you to where you want to be -. Emotionally, financially, physically, etc. Make specific plans to reach a goal every two you set
- Spend ten minutes together Daily. Develop a routine to spend ten minutes alone together each day. Make this time to reconnect. It is not the time to share frustrations or wanting to solve problems. This ten minutes to be positive ten minutes together. You could spend ten minutes talking about your expectations of the day, or talk about good things that have happened over the past 24 hours. You could take a ten minute walk together or do breathing exercises together. What you do with that ten minutes should not be the same every day. Some couples sitting together quietly and watch the sunset or stargazing.
- Do Something New. Do something new every day. Take a route home. Eat a cooked differently vegetable. Watch a TV show or a movie you have not seen. Learn something new about your spouse. Move furniture. Plant a flower seeds you never planted before. Walking on a street or a different path. Make a new card or company game. Learn to dance together. No matter what you do that is new. What is important is to share what you have done what was new with your spouse.
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