Finding a good marriage counselor can seem a daunting task. It is ideal to ask for a referral from a friend who went to one, your doctor or clergy. Some people may be uncomfortable asking anyone for such a reference, you will obviously be disclose that you and your spouse have problems. The Internet is often where people look, but it is not always a guarantee of success. Here are four tips to help you find the right professional to help you with your marriage.
- reputable directories Search
Some recommended sites with a counselor search function:
National Registry Marriage friendly therapists
the International Centre of excellence in Emotionally focused therapy (ICEEFT) find a therapist search function
the guidance directory Gottman Institute
the American Association of Marriage and family therapists (AAMFT) _therapist localization directory
- Find a counselor with good references
All therapists must be licensed (or sub admissible license) to practice therapy.
This can vary the state of condition, so make sure you check yours. A practitioner who makes marriage therapy can be a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), licensed social worker (LCSW), under license mental health counselor (LMHC) or psychologist (PhD or PsyD). To specialize in a disorder or a specific population, such as marriage or couples treatment often requires advanced training. A therapist trained in emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT) will have experience with the most proven method to help couples.
- Ask the therapist several questions
It is perfectly acceptable to ask the therapist direct questions about whether he or she is competent to practice and would be a good fit. This is especially important if the therapist has not been directly referred to you or the person you have found by doing a search online. No therapist can easily predict how long you will be in therapy until a thorough assessment has been completed and even then it can be difficult. Expect to be in therapy a minimum of four to six months and possibly up to a year depending on the degree of problems and how long you have had them. After getting information about fees and scheduling options (make sure you can both make appointments systematically), the therapist must be prepared to spend several minutes on the phone to answer any questions.
Here are some good questions to ask before hiring a marriage counselor :?
How long have you done couples therapy
traininghave you advanced? Can you clarify?
How long are the sessions?
What should we expect?
Is there something that could depart as good candidates for marriage therapy? (For example, a history of family violence, substance abuse, etc.)
It is also okay to ask Vital advise if this is important to you. You may feel more comfortable with a married adviser with children of a divorced or never married. It is not appropriate to ask a lot of personal questions of counsel, but, marital status should be acceptable.
- Trust your gut on the counselor during the first meeting
He that the counselor say make sense? Does that sound like he or she has a good understanding of your problems and what can be done to improve things? Are you both as adviser and comfortable? If you do not feel that way in the first sessions, this particular councilor may not be a good match and it is normal to find another. Understand that the counselor and help guide you to find ways for both of you to solve your problems, but are not there to solve them for you. Much work will be required from you.
Finding help for your wedding is a brave company and hope positive. Knowing where and how to begin the first step.
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