How do you know when to throw in the towel or if your marriage has reached the point of no return? Ask yourself some key questions before making the decision to divorce
This is what you should ask yourself :.
- are you two constantly agitate each other over trivial matters?
- Is almost everything about your spouse irritate you?
- your spouse has physically or emotionally abused you? Are you afraid of your spouse
- Do you think your love, patience and hope are all just short
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- your communications always end in a fight or an argument? When you are fighting, you fighting fair or target below the belt? Do any of you to show the wounds of the past?
- When was the last time you had fun together? When was the last time you felt sexually attracted to each other? Do you still make love?
- Is that the same problems keep resurfacing again and again? Can you accept that your personal misfortune is your own responsibility?
- Does your partner constantly put you down, attack your self-esteem, and / or criticize you ? Do you respect your spouse? Does your spouse respect you?
- Are you ready to co-parent raising your children with your ex-spouse?
- Your different goals and values?
- Can you compromise on important issues?
- unfaithful to your spouse? Has he or she had a physical or emotional affair?
- Have you tried counseling? If so, how long? Some sessions will not help things if your distress has been going for years.
- Is that the same problems keep resurfacing again and again?
- Do the same "pattern" keep resurfacing. For example, you always try to talk to your partner and always closes down.
- Do you have dreams of divorce or your spouse died?
- Do you have a plan if you divorce? Are you able to cope with the financial and emotional stress of divorce?
- Are you self-conscious? What problems or behaviors are bringing you in marriage
What :?
It is important that you address the realities of divorce and not fantasy. Sometimes an unhealthy relationship can be saved and divorce is inevitable. It is particularly difficult to continue in a marriage where he is being unfaithful or multiple cases, most (sex, pornography, substance abuse), or abuse. If you feel unsafe or afraid of your spouse, it may be time to move.
Know that you need to keep you emotionally and physically healthy through this stressful time. You will not make rational decisions if you are depressed or sleep deprived.
If you are looking for help, see a therapist who works with couples, even if you go yourself. These therapists are trained to help you understand the underlying problems in your marriage. They may notice things you do not see in both you and your relationship.
Be careful to tell others about your marital problems. They will most likely side you have not heard your spouses' side of the story. "They may even encourage you leave if you are not happy. It is okay to ask for support, but do not bad mouth your spouse as you may end up staying together after all.
do not blindside your spouse. If you've never raised serious you think about divorce, perhaps the moment. If you n 'are not in a dangerous condition (for example, you fear that you and your spouse have been in an abusive marriage), you can put this to him. you do not mention the "D" word at the moment, but you might emphasize how very unfortunate point that you are and you have had some scary thoughts about your future together. This can finally put your relationship on a path that you have been seeking all along.
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Article updated by Marni Feuerman
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