Recognizing the behavior of faults in others, especially your spouse is generally easier than to recognize your own shortcomings. Countless people are hostile in a passive way, but many have no idea that their conduct could be described so. You can be passive-aggressive sulk if you conveniently forgot to do things to a spouse you're upset with, or you are aware that you are extremely uncomfortable around anger. If you are passive-aggressive, it is likely to damage your marriage and other close relationships.
What is passive aggressiveness?
passive aggressiveness appears as hostility not openly disseminated, at least not verbally. Someone could "forget" to do something for someone that they hold a grudge against hidden. Alternatively, he or she can take a long time to perform these tasks, being late constantly, making faces behind someone's back, or indulge in a variety of other antagonistic behavior. In the narrow and intimate relationship such as marriage, the spouse may withhold affection or sex, eye-roll and "huff and puff" rather than openly express anger.
Alternatively spouse will make life difficult for their partner in another way. Passive-aggressiveness often arises in response to your husbands "or wifes requests and demands. Or you are not satisfied with certain aspects of the relationship and not directly express it.
What makes the passive-aggressive people?
Most of the time, demonstrating hostility indirect or complicated way stems from childhood. Children who learn that anger is a terrible emotion or ridiculed when they reveal their mood, to get the message that anger openly exhibiting unacceptable. They fail to learn how to effectively express feelings they perceive as undesirable. Sometimes they believe they are incompetent and think they will not be taken seriously if they show anger. On other occasions, they may fear that their anger might provoke the wrath of someone else, they will not be able to manage. Expressing anger verbally is difficult for them because they do not possess the necessary communication skills.
Does the above sound like you?
If you think you can be passive aggressive, do not panic! That does not make you "defective". Display hostility passively means you have not learned more effective ways of communication. And, let's face it, your behavior generally not afford what you want.
Can you change the way you communicate?
Although the modification of long habit of life may not be easy, it is certainly possible - and well worth the effort - to develop your communication skills and learn to manage anger effectively and express yourself. The first step is to recognize the unhealthy behavior that you display when you are angry. Whenever you feel the urge to carry out similar practices in the future, to step back and take stock of your actions. Ask yourself if there are other ways you could express how you feel may be beneficial and easier to get your needs met.
Tell your spouse that you are angry and what bothers you is a healthy way to respond. There are positive ways to do that do not involve blame. Start by saying how his actions made you feel, and if so, how the behavior is detrimental to your well-being. Avoid shouting, swearing, insults and accusing at all costs. Instead, begin sentences with "I" and follow with a factual description of why you feel bad.
poor communication modes such as passive aggression are not so rare as many people act on their hostility rather than communicating verbally occasion. However, when doing repetitive, meaningful relationships - like your wedding - can slowly crumble and break down. Learn to express yourself in a constructive manner can rebuild damaged relationships and prevent them from falling apart.