Saturday, January 21, 2017

What kind of wedding do you Have?

What kind of wedding do you Have?
marriage models - Hero Images/Creative RF/Getty
Hero Images / Creative RF / Getty
update May 15, 2016 .

What is your wedding like?

Here is a look at the models of marriage as defined by the authors Judith Wallerstein and E. Mavis Hetherington.

If you talk to people about this type of marriage, they probably they say or they have a traditional wedding or companionate

However, there are a few other all models in fact of marriage, including marriages of your own parents and grandparents

marriage patterns Judith Wallerstein: ..

  • traditional -. In this type of marriage, the husband is the breadwinner and the woman is the homemaker homebased
  • companionate - the companionate unions are based on spouses with common interests in their career and children
  • Rescue -. The focus of this type of marriage seems to be able to heal the damage of a dysfunctional childhood or earlier hurt and harm relations. It is often a marriage of walking wounded
  • Romantic - .. For these married couples, the initial romantic spark is vital and exciting and for them, sensuality continues through decades together

Here are some quotes on these types of marriages The good marriage: how and why The tough love by Judith S. Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee

description of a traditional wedding: .. "... has at its base a clear division of roles and responsibilities The woman supports home and family while the man is the main employee "

Danger of traditional marriages: ." ... focus so closely on the education of children as partners see each other only as parents, they dread the moment when the children leave home, knowing that they will be left with little in common. "

Description of a companionate marriage: "..." the most common form of marriage among younger couples ... it reflects the social changes of the past two decades . At its core is friendship, equality, and the movement system of women's value, with its corollary that the role of the man, too, needs to change. An important factor in the companionate marriage is the attempt to balance the serious emotional investment partners in the workplace with their emotional investment in the relationship and children "

Danger weddings companionate .: "... it can degenerate into a brother and sister relationship. Invested primarily in their respective careers, husband and wife are seen only fleetingly, sharing a bed with little or no sex or emotional intimacy . "

More about Companionate marriage

description of a life wedding: " the healing that takes place during the marriage is the central theme. "

Danger rescue marriages: " instead of healing, a new forum for replay past trauma. Spouses have the ability to hurt and abuse each other ... the hopes of rescue and comfort that leads to marriage are buried and forgotten "

Description of a romantic wedding ".. .. a lasting relationship with sexual passion. A couple in a romantic wedding often shares the sense that they were destined to be together "

Danger romantic weddings: ". ... Husband and wife freezing in a self-absorbed child concern with each other, turning his back to the world, including children. " T

E Marriage Models Mavis Hetherington:

  • traditional - the partners have clearly defined roles and the relationship is in danger if one spouse decides to change their role as both agree with their roles, marriages have a low divorce rate
  • -cohesive Indivuated -.. these couples believe in combining gender with privacy for personal freedom Renewal, affection, support and camaraderie are important to those people whose weddings have a low divorce rate
  • Pursuer-Distancer . - the most common type of marriage with a spouse is away and the other wanting more privacy. this type of relationship has the highest divorce rate
  • Triggered -. These couples, with a low priority on privacy and a strong belief in independence, drifting along together for years before their marriage crumbles.
  • Operatic - These volatile relationships often have heated battles followed by passionate love. As they are prone to violence, both emotional and physical, they have a high divorce rate.

* Updated article by Marni Feuerman


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