By Marni Feuerman
Co-Author: Nora Hall
Are you petrified of retirement for your spouse? Are you afraid that it will cling to you day after day not knowing what to do with himself? Or, do you think it can become moody and full of anxiety with all that new found time and freedom?
The retreat will be difficult for men and women, who are not quite prepared for the transition. In general, men have defined themselves by their careers with other roles, such as the father or husband secondary. On the other hand, women have held a variety of roles, regardless of their work outside the home, and are generally more social than men. So it is no surprise that retirement can make men feel lost, alone, more dependent on their spouse. This, in turn, can lead to a new type of marital stress.
Here are eight tips for women to help them survive the retirement of their husbands :.
- Remember, retirement is not for sissies pension offers a new lifestyle! But it takes planning, courage and determination to create a fulfilling retirement and marriage.
- Dream your wildest dreams and plan ahead. For years, you've heard about the importance of establishing a retirement financial plan. However, couples who spend a good amount of time to plan how they want to spend their retirement generally report that it has contributed more to their happiness that their financial plan done. Recognizing your dreams is an important aspect of this aspect of planning. Although some of these dreams are too costly or difficult to continue, they still produce an opportunity for creative planning. Couples often find that these activities are accessible, sometimes in a less costly or ambitious fashion, and fill all the same.
- Identify what you enjoy doing together. Some couples think they have too much ease now that they are retired. Sharing meaningful activities that you both enjoy this reduces tension and increases your pleasure to spend time together. Also, think about all the new activities you want to try on your own or with others.
- Create a personal space in your home for each partner and allow time to pursue personal interests. We all need space and time to be alone or to pursue our own interests. Having even a small area than other aspects of the person as the place of their partner and the time without guilt to participate in these individual interests reduces tension in the relationship. Looks like a "man cave" is not such a bad idea after all!
- Keep courageous conversations where partners feel comfortable identifying their unique interests and concerns about this new stage of life. partners who do not share their hopes or fears for this new stage of life often struggle to understand the actions or attitudes of others. for example, a husband whose life was wrapped around his work or forced into early retirement may be angry that he does not. unless he helps his wife to understand these feelings, she is likely to feel angry behavior, it can demonstrate . communication has always been important throughout your wedding and it is even now.
- Do not say "never" or "you always." If or when one partner accused surfaces argument implies that the lack of prosecution or guilt, not the underlying reasons why the partner is disturbed. It is much more effective to tell your partner why a particular action is a problem rather than an accusation. For example, it probably did take the garbage in the last week or two. Hearing you never take the garbage will mostly likely only produce defensiveness.
- Take time to listen to what your spouse is really saying. Too often, especially when there are tensions, we tend to think we heard what the other said. Otherwise, we do not listen at all. Stable relationships take a lot of empathy, which is reached when we feel pain, concerns or desires of the other. If you got so far in your marriage, you enjoy the most likely prospects for each. Remember when your spouse is retired.
- Find reasons to be good to each other. Kindness is contagious. It is more difficult to stay angry when another person is nice to you, and kindness helps deepen the relationship as couples grow in their love and appreciation for each other. But compliments and "thank yous" flow from your lips often.
The retreat did not mean to ruin it for you wedding. This does not mean a major transition. With stress comes transitions and changes. There are ways to make this as smooth as possible so that you also get your well-deserved pleasure on this phase in your life and marriage.
shopping AMAZON: Survive pension your husband: A Light-Hearted Look at the joys and tribulations of living with a retired husband by Nora Hall
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