Friday, January 20, 2017

How to rebuild your life after the death of your spouse

How to rebuild your life after the death of your spouse -
Senior woman placing flowers on grave in cemetery - altrendo images/Stockbyte/Getty Images
altrendo images / Stockbyte / Getty Images
update August 13, 2016 .

One day you are married. The next day you are single, alone and in mourning. It will happen to one of you. Nothing is forever. The key is that you will need to know how to travel on the rough passage through a maze of information, decisions, forms to fill out, shock, loneliness, anger, confusion, fear, broken heart and depression. However, it can also be accepted and new beginnings.

"Everybody will eventually lose everything they have ever loved or cared for. That is the truth of life itself ... But our pain is not just the loss of a loved one or facing our own mortality. Whether the loss of a job, a marriage, a dream, or our youth, we all had our hearts broken. everyone has lost our innocence, and made mistakes and hurt and were harmed along the way. we all have our individual stories of when, where, how, what, and our heartbreaks .. Each of our stories is unique and tenderly yet all of us have a history ... the pain is the human condition, the bond that binds us all together. " David Treadway, Ph.D., "Good Grief: Celebrating the pain of our lives." on (2012)

"Everyone experiences loss differently, and the last thing people need when they are in the terrible pain is to feel that they are doing something wrong because they can not find a way to feel better. remembering that sometimes helps nothing can stop you blaming yourself in the midst of your pain. "
Will Schwalbe," the loss of a loved: How to Get Through It "on (2013)

death Steps

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote several years ago on the "stages of grief": denial (shock), negotiation, anger, depression and acceptance it is important to realize that these steps are not a particular order and some people can. being in a stage they thought they had already conquered.

These steps are a normal part of grief. do not let yourself get caught up in having to do things in a certain period of time . you will know the right time to empty the drawers and closets and deal with personal items such as wallets and handbags. Wait until you are ready

"and my first article on the list of each day is: Wake up .. If I can check that off, I've done something and then go to corporate life and trying to honor the memory of those I love who are no longer here. "Will Schwalbe," The loss of a loved one: How to Get Through It "on (2013)

It's okay to cry

The pain is necessary way. are tears. Crying will not help. Crying is a healing device. Dr. Joyce Brothers tears described as "emotional first aid."

tears contain leucine-enkephalin, which is one of painkillers . natural brain tears also contain a hormone that promotes the secretion of tears. - prolactin women have more prolactin than men, which is one of the reasons why they may cry more than men


Dealing with others

Many people are uncomfortable with death. therefore, they will say and do stupid things. Try to be forgiving of those people who have no idea what to do or say. they often do not realize that it is okay to mention the name of your spouse, or you look in the eyes, or give you a hug.

Holidays and Special

Your life is changed and changing. The schedule will have a different effect on you as your wedding anniversary, Valentine's Day, special events, birthdays and holidays come around. These dates should be treated. Plan ahead for them and do what you want to do. Do not be manipulated by family and friends.

Looking Ahead

Dr. Joyce Brothers wrote in his book, Widowed "And if there should ever be another good man I share my life, there will still be this empty corner of my soul. I know what I had and what I lost. I hope I will not spend the rest of my life alone. But if I do, I will not be sorry for myself. life goes on, and I'm ready to join the parade again. "

census of the United States indicates that on average, widowers remarry in 3 years of the death of their wives and widows remarry within 5 years. Experts say it is important, however, to marry for love ... not because you are alone.

Books for widows and widowers

* Updated article by Marni Feuerman


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