It is important in your marriage that you are both faithful to yourselves, not just as individuals, but as true to yourself as a married couple. Before you can do what you need to know what you two values.
How to know the difference between the values and ideals
There is a difference between the values and ideals.
A value is something you recognize as good and useful and you choose to have in your life now being ready to sacrifice other things for now.
An ideal , on the other hand, is something you recognize as good as you want in your life in the course of future , but you don ' are not willing to sacrifice for it now.
values and ideals are often confused, but the difference between the two is the level of commitment and willingness to give something for her.
For example, some couples say they appreciate a good marriage, but they do nothing to make their marriage better. So in reality, for them, a good marriage is not an ideal value.
How to recognize your values
The best way to recognize your own values is to analyze two very important aspects of your life.
- The first is financial. How do you spend your money? Where is it going?
- The second is time. How do you spend time you? Are most of your hours at work or school? How long can you do for each other? How much time is spent on recreation or leisure?
Prioritize your values and ideals
Sometimes you two can put a value on the same, but the value is in terms of priority and importance. Without the two of you talk about it, the differences can lead to conflict. confusion and disappointment.
For example, a couple planning to move to a place away from the family. Although they consider close to an extended family of values, a spouse gives greater priority to the other because the possibilities career enhancement rank higher on the list to the other spouse . Being close to family is a value for one and perfect for each other.
To cope with the difference of values, this couple will need to assess honestly whether the decision will be good for their relationship or not.
Questions to ask yourself as you discuss your values and ideals is, "do make [such and such ...] bring us or allow us to grow apart?"
Consider having everyone you write your ten values and compare them. Choose those that are on each of your lists and prioritize the individual with the most important at the top of the list. Compare your lists and see if there are values that each of you put up. Continue to compare and discuss higher values until you both agree on what your top three values.
Remember that the value is perfect if you do incorporate the value in most aspects of your life - leisure, at work, when you are with family and friends, how you spend your time and money, etc.