5 Signs You should put a ring on his finger (STAT!)

5 Signs You should put a ring on his finger (STAT!)

Before Get Married

5 Signs You should put a ring on his finger (STAT!) -

Cultura RM Exclusive / GretaMarie / Getty Images

By Marni Feuerman

Marriage Expert

By Marni Feuerman

update May 6, 2016 .

If you are dating with marriage in mind, it is important to look for qualities that would make a woman a good wife. You want to look for certain features that will benefit your long-term relationship. You must look beyond the physical attributes that you will find very attractive and for your undeniable chemistry. Not all women would make a good spouse, much less a good mother to your children

Here are five signs that your girlfriend will also make a great wife :.

1. It is independent

An independent woman is a good choice because you know that it will not rely on you to keep her happy, busy, and supported. An independent woman wants you rather than needs you; it does not panic if it does not hear from you for a day, and will not be sticky or require your time. This kind of woman will be a better wife than the one that requires constant attention and reassurance. An independent woman is strong, confident, and not afraid to be alone.

understand that interdependence is healthy. The kind of independence your woman should have its ability to fully function on itself. But she also knows how to reach you when you do not need and can count on you emotionally.

2. It is level head

A woman's level head is much more attractive than one who is frustrated by every minor problem. You want a woman who will remain reasonably calm in stressful situations. That does not mean it will be perfect and never get angry, but it does not lose his temper at all that goes wrong. She knows how to manage emotions and think before she speaks.

must also feel it is a good resource for those times when you may be under stress. You can rely on its capabilities, intelligence and thoughts when you can not.

3. It is low maintenance

Just because the woman is low maintenance does not mean she does not care of itself at all, but she will not spend hours preparing for a date. A woman low maintenance does not accumulate on makeup, spending too much money on shoes and clothes, or need constant reminders that you like the way it looks. She is proud of the way she looks without going overboard.

A high maintenance woman can not be with you through thick and thin. What happens when you can not maintain his lifestyle? You should not fear that he will leave or look elsewhere to keep his expensive habits go.

4. It supports your goals

A woman who takes care of your personal and professional goals will make a good wife. This type of woman understands that not everything will be on it or you as a couple. While you will have both individual goals, it will be at your side to encourage you in your efforts. It does not feel threatened by the time and energy you put into achieving your goals because it will itself.

Your goals should also mesh well. They should not be so divergent to cause a rupture between you. Knowing your spouse supports will help you achieve these goals as well.

5. She stands up for herself

If it is up to you, a family member or friend, you want a woman who does not that people treat her badly. You do not want a woman who will accept your bad behavior towards her or in general. You probably loose respect for her. A woman who stands up for herself has confidence in itself and will not let anyone abuse her, talk to her, or act as if their opinions do not count.

If you want to marry, it is important to look for qualities that show the woman you are dating is only able to be strong and responsible. Getting married is nothing to take lightly and want to make the best decision for your life.

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How to know if an online dating profile is really a cheat Married

How to know if an online dating profile is really a cheat Married

Before Get Married

How to know if an online dating profile is really a cheat Married -

Choice / Getty Dimitri Otis photographer

By Marni Feuerman

wedding Expert

By Marni Feuerman

update October 5, 2015 .

Co-Author Sherri Murphy, CEO / Elite Connections

While online dating can be a convenient way to get back in the dating scene, one of the biggest problems with online dating is not to know if the person you talk to tells you the truth about themselves. In addition to the standard white lies like changing your weight or beautifying your size, one of the most serious lie is whether or not this person is really unique. He was doing more and more popular for men and married women to sign up for dating sites. Although, there is no way to know for sure if someone you refer is to be honest about their relationship status, here are some red flags that you should seek to be very careful while dating online .

1. They do not have a photo.

The most important thing to any cheater that nobody finds out they are cheating. This ensures that they will not be recognized if someone they know personally seen his profile.

If you start talking to someone without a photo, be careful.

2. They speak only of you during odd hours of the day or night.

If they insist they work odd hours and the only time they have to message or call you is in the late hours of the night, then they are wary. Of course, this does not guarantee that they are unfaithful, but you can not deny that this behavior is usually quite shady.

3. They make you push for images or other sex-related things from the beginning.

Many times, if someone on a dating site when they are married, the main thing they are looking for will be sex. Because of this, they probably are not going to waste their time with long conversations as they would if they were really interested in getting to know you.

4. They do not want to meet you in person.

If someone is married, they probably have a schedule established that their significant other knows. Because of this, it might be too much work for them to meet with you. person meeting does not guarantee that they are clear, however. Beware if they do not go out in public with you or there are some areas, they avoid it goes when you are together. This behavior often means they do not want to be seen with you.

5. They can not take your phone calls.

At the beginning of a relationship, telephone calls are essential. They recall the two people they felt the same way when they are not together. If your phone calls are always moved by the silent button or sent directly to voice mail, which is a bad sign. If someone is not as capable as you put time and effort into a new relationship they clearly already have too much on their plate, signifying by what maybe someone else.

As an additional precaution, avoid free dating sites. The guys who cheat do not want a "paper trail." Overall, the communication must be consistent without a lot of rules that do not make sense. Being mysterious secret should be a turn-off trying to find your game. things need to add and meaning. There are opportunities if you follow your instinct, you will know whether to continue the pursuit of a person acting in these ways.

6 First Date Deal Breakers

6 First Date Deal Breakers

Before Get Married

6 First Date Deal Breakers -

Liam Norris / RM Cultura Exclusive / Getty

By Marni Feuerman

Marriage Expert

By Marni Feuerman

update December 24, 2015 .

First dates rarely go perfectly, but there are actions that should be considered deal breakers. It is good to look for the best people, but some actions during the first date should be taken as a serious sign of things to come. There is no need to waste your time. If you are ignored or treated poorly during a first date, you should anticipate being treated the same on future dates or in a relationship in progress.

A recent Wall Street Journal highlighted a common relationship stumbling, but also noticed men and women are slightly different. Women are more likely to have more deal breakers that men as well as people who think more highly of themselves. Men and women focus more on deal breakers when considering a long-term relationship such as marriage.

Some things you may not notice right on the first date, but if you do happen to see any of these signs, it is a good idea to run for the hills.

1. Your date drinks too

There is nothing wrong with enjoying a glass or two on a first date. If your date orders a lot of drinks and suggest going to a bar or club for more drinks after dinner, you could be with someone who has a drinking problem. No matter how someone is nervous on a first date, it is important that alcohol drinking is under control. Drunkenness is a deal breaker.

2. Your date only refers to him / herself

You will certainly be interested in your date, but if he or she continues without allowing you ask questions, you might be dealing with a self-centered personality. If your date does not ask questions about you or constantly directs the conversation to himself, you should not be bothered with a second date.

3. Your date has no sense of humor

If you can not laugh together, it can be very difficult on the road. It is the most obvious trait, but sharing a sense of humor or you find both funny would probably be a better match. It is also easier to avoid misunderstandings. For example, when you are sarcastic and rather than take it seriously.

4. Your date can not stay on the phone

If there is a workaholic or just needs to stay up to date on all the goings "his friends, being on his phone constantly during your date is rude. The attention should be on you. If you try to talk your date and is always looking at the phone and give you nods of courtesy, you should not consider going again.

5. Your date has bad manners

impeccable manners are not necessary, but basic manners should be expected. If your date does not say "please" or "thank you" or he chews mouth open, it might lack these basic ways. Another sign of bad manners and a major red flag is being rude to service people.

6. Your date is looking unkempt or disheveled

Do we need to say more about this? If this is their best, then you certainly do not want to see them at their worst!

A first date is a good time to notice things that might warn you against a second date. In general, it is normal to give a person a second chance, but when there is a more serious problem, such as drinking too much or acting like you're not there yet, there is little reason to bother going forward with this person.

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7 Sure-fire ways to tell your relationship is headed for the wedding

7 Sure-fire ways to tell your relationship is headed for the wedding

Before Get Married

7 Sure-fire ways to tell your relationship is headed for the wedding -

Cultura RM Exclusive / TwinPix / Getty

By Marni Feuerman

Marriage Expert

By Marni Feuerman

update April 14, 2016 .

So you're in love and you think you've found "the one." Your relationship has been humming along quite nicely. Even your parents like him! You think the time is up. Not to mention, several holiday too. Holiday with opportunities for perfect gifts. But, still no ring.

It can be hard to tell if your relationship is headed for marriage. You may want to not rock the boat with such a serious conversation. At the same time, you certainly do not want to waste your time.

There are telltale signs that will tell you that he will propose a minute:

1. This refers to the future you included and so often! No more "if." It is not if we do this or that, it becomes when we do this or that. Whether for planning a trip, buying a house, or attend a friend's wedding next year, it is obvious that you are on his mind. He thought more about his celibacy, but will it be as permanent couple. He communicated in both words and behaviors you have a future together.

2. asks your opinion on important life decisions. Things are no longer considered the only one impact. If he is offered a job in another state or it does not know what to do about his sick grandmother, he seeks your input. It becomes a discussion and not a unilateral decision.

3. You are always welcome at family reunions and attends most of yours too. His family accepts you and yours to accept it. It seems like a natural choice. It is a bonus if his mother always asks if you come and if you are not disappointed.

4. is still there, even if you've hit a few bumps. Maybe you lost your job, had a long illness or broken your leg. He was there with emotional support. It may even be offered financial support (which, of course, you do not take), but it makes you feel secure. Or maybe you've had an unpleasant episode of PMS or had a big blow-up on something. If it still does not guarantee, chances are he will never.

5. It shows that it believes in marriage and is not afraid to make such a long life commitment. It is a really optimistic sign if he has a positive attitude towards intimacy and commitment. It is reflected on marriage will not break or tip, but at the same time is more than willing to take a chance on love, if it feels good.

6. You have a lot in common, including some odd or eccentric things. You could have the same sense of humor or a particular habit you do both. It seems that if you get both really each other.

7. The dead giveaway: you catch someone asking diamonds or he begins to notice or comment on other women engagement rings! If this happens, it is definitely think offer and chances are sooner rather than later.

You want to be patient. Seeing some or all of these signs should help you to know in depth this guy will not anywhere.There reason to take the novel about the process being aggressive or always start conversations about your future.

Alternatively if you were patient and either you do not see these signs or worse, he was inconsistent in his behavior, it's time to have a sit-down conversation. You will have to take a chance to express your feelings and check with her. You may end up with a broken heart. However, you do not want to invest more time and energy in a relationship that is not directed to the marriage, if that is your goal

You can also read :. Is Your Boyfriend Marriage Material?

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6 Financial matters Couple must meet before the wedding

6 Financial matters Couple must meet before the wedding

Before Get Married

6 Financial matters Couple must meet before the wedding -

Richard Elliott, The Image Bank / Getty

By Marni Feuerman

Marriage expert

By Marni Feuerman

update August 29, 2015 .

How to manage finances is perhaps the most volatile area of ​​contention encountered by couples. Each person brings unique financial practices and values ​​in the relationship, which can contribute to the conflict. If not addressed proactively, disagreements over money can overshadow everything else in the relationship and potentially lead to its demise.

Couples should invest time discussing finances and work together to develop a financial strategy in light of the potential dangers of not doing so. Here are six questions that should be addressed in the process:

1. What is our current financial situation?

For a perspective of their current reality, couples must calculate their total debt (including debt that each introduced into the relationship) and the repayment terms. They should also calculate their combined income, taking into account taxes. Beginning with the necessary information, a couple can develop strategies to pay off debts quickly and develop a budget to follow.

2. Who will be responsible for managing the money?

If separate bank accounts are held, each person can be responsible for their own account. In such cases, decisions will be taken regarding the bills are paid on that account. If the couple has a joint account, however, it often works best if one person takes the lead. This person should regularly communicate their financial situation with the partner, especially when concerns are raised.

3. What expenses should be included in our budget?

The obvious budget items include items such as rent or mortgage payments, car payments, groceries, gas, clothes, memberships, subscriptions, and utilities. Items that can be overlooked include charitable donations, car repairs, and gifts. The budget should reflect all these predictable expenses, plus leave some room for surprises. It should also allow 10-20 percent (or more) of the total income to invest in savings.

4. What are your career goals?

are both people who pursue professional careers, which may involve more education and offshoring? If so, this will be done when career ambitions clash? Are there plans (and necessary) that each person will work to earn income? What if a person develops health problems? If children come into the picture, both continue to work or have a choice to take care of children? If a couple lives paycheck, the options are limited.

5. What is the level of life can afford, and what the living do we want?

A living will inevitably cost more money increases levels of stress, and creates financial pressures within the home. A lower standard of living can mean sacrifice, but it also results in less stress and more financial freedom. Instead of living large and spending more than you can afford, couples are better downsizing and learn to be content with less.

6. What are your plans for retirement?

The amount of money couples need to save and earn through investments is primarily determined by their expected retirement age. The sooner they hope to retire, the more they will save and invest to allow that to happen. In addition, if the couples are planning to travel extensively in their retirement years, they will need to save even more. The earlier a couple started to prepare for retirement, the better.

Ignore these types of issues could potentially disastrous for a couple. Couples who are equipped to answer questions or deal with problems would be wise to seek help from a professional financial advisor. Otherwise, many couples seek entry and the mediation of the clergy or a trusted friend. Whatever the process, a couple chooses, when looking to commit, they would benefit by establishing a financial strategy agreed for the sake of marriage.

Conversations Experts believe fiancés must be having

Conversations Experts believe fiancés must be having

Before Get Married

Conversations Experts believe fiancés must be having -

Giantstep Inc / Getty Images

By Marni Feuerman

Marriage Expert

By Marni Feuerman

update August 6, 2016 .

Unfortunately, current statistics show that those who marry for the first time face a divorce chance of 40% to 50%. Among the first marriages that end in divorce, most only last 3 to 5 years. Children of divorced parents are at increased risk of psychological problems that often do not become apparent until adulthood. Sometimes these couples feel the same distress during the commitment period. With divorce with profound and negative implications, it is imperative to take at look at some ways couples can prevent divorce before saying "I do."

As a marriage and family therapist, I am concerned when couples in the marriage path can not describe how they resolve conflicts. If they say they never have arguments, I am afraid they do not discuss important topics, or they avoid conflicts. On the other hand, excessive fighting and disagreements pose a "red flag" as well. There are many techniques to help couples committed to overcome these problems.

Here is a sample of what I think works and what other experts advise to help you on your way before you tie the knot.

Linda A. Kerns, a right to family lawyer in Pennsylvania and New Jersey believes that "marriage is a business arrangement as it is about love and family. engaged couples need to understand the expectations of everyone in finance and also plan how to manage money for the wedding. "She goes on to say that" the assets and liabilities The combination can be complicated and requires planning. Each couple must find their comfort zone if it means keeping separate finances, combining all or a hybrid approach. " Asset protection for your spouse in a divorce also varies by the laws of your state.

Texas family law attorney Natalie Gregg notes that "Couples often caught up in the romance and forget to discuss key elements of the image, such as when and if they might have children who could stay at home with the children, and what kind of career is durable for their lifestyle. " She pondered why people "put more thought about buying real estate or a car that the person we are planning to get married. Marriage is a delicate dance egos, careers and lifestyles, all of which need planning and joint for the future. "

Megan Bearce, a marriage and licensed family therapist and author in Minnesota recommends that couples looking to get married for the first time and read the book by Susan Piver the right questions 100 questions before You Say "I Do". Bearce noted, "So much time is devoted to choose flowers, catering, and take decisions on the day instead of thinking about the problems that can lead to conflict on the wedding route." Bearce love the book Piver as is "divided into chapters on money, career, children and related issues such lists and who get to the point of how each person feels about them. I also recommend my individual clients read, too, so they get clear about what they do and do not want in a relationship and understand what is important to them in the long term, not just the coming months. "

"the family you grew up in forms an amazing amount of your prejudices, unconscious behaviors, values ​​and reactions," says Dr. Tina Tessina, a marriage and licensed family therapist in California and author of several books to help couples. "make sure you spend as much time as possible with the families of the other before making the move. It is easier to see the quirks and habits of your partner in a parent or sibling because you are not blinded by lust. If one or both of you don 't get with your families to know why. Family style will have a big impact on your relationship. "Dr. Tessina has a list of many other important issues to consider for couples before they marry about personality traits, to move in together, divide tasks, preference for personal space, religious differences . and so on

before getting married, couples are able to seek advice from many sources: licensed therapists who specialize in counseling before marriage, specific programs that prepare couples for a successful marriage (eg PREP or PREPARE / ENRICH), clergy, lawyers in family law, and financial planners, to name a few. PREP (prevention Program and improvement of the relationship) is one of divorces prevention / the most complete and well respected marriage strengthening programs available today. It has been proven effective through extensive research. PREP emphasizes strategies under two frames essential: strategies oriented towards the reduction of risk factors and strategies to increase protective factors to help marriages succeed. PREP is an educational program that participants can learn using multiple formats according to their preferences, such as workshops in person, online and home study, or classes led by members of the clergy.

If you get a sort of prenuptial advice or engage in a program such as PREP, the goal is to take it seriously and do the work. "The key limitation of a premarital program is that couples often approach these sessions without the seriousness it requires," notes Jessica Rios, clinical director at iCouch, an online therapy service. "It is important that both partners are fully involved in the process. I recommend that couples see their counselor both as a couple and separately to help the counselor to understand what each person wants without these needs being ignored or skipped during the session couple. Sometimes premarital counseling may reveal that the couple should not be married. "

Leana Sykes, couples therapist and a developer called online courses based in New Jersey" prenuptial Boot Camp "also highlights that one of the disadvantages is that "programs do not challenge couples to dig deeper and go beyond their comfort zone, like counseling can. Working with a counselor is more personalized for the couple, and a counselor can help the couple navigate more sensitive topics such as money, spirituality and intimacy. "Dr. Jane Greer, relationship expert based in New York radio host and author recommends premarital programs as well, but recognizes that they are not as individualized She says." If the couple has difficulty speaking to each other directly, it is a good idea to see a counselor or clergy, as a priest or rabbi. in addition, they can talk to other couples who have lived it and wonder how they survived the road marriage. "

There are valuable resources for engaged couples on the internet. Smartmarriages.com provides information wealth, educational classes and links for couples. NationalMarriageProject.org provides research and analysis relevant to promote healthy and stable marriages. Both organizations are non-faith-based and non-partisan. Avvo.com is free legal resource based on Web that engaged couples can also find a useful resource for information on topics such as prenuptial agreements, immigration law for international couples or ownership issues .

There is a consensus among experts that the "blinders" should come off. Do not let the happiness of engagement prevent you openly and sincerely discuss serious topics. Dealing with difficult issues before marriage. This may be the best way to prevent yourself from becoming another divorce statistic!

Read also: Why Counseling Premarital should not be optional

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How to plan an engagement party

How to plan an engagement party

Before Get Married

How to plan an engagement party -

By Donna Pilato

Entertaining Expert

Donna Pilato

the happy couple decided to turn their relationship into a lifetime commitment and it's time to share the good news with family and friends. It is also time to introduce the future in laws together. That's why it's time to plan an engagement party to announce and celebrate the exciting event.

Traditionally, this party was hosted by the bride's parents, usually at home. But as well as other changes in the changing social etiquette, the rules of the party are not as hard and fast. These days everyone can welcome the engagement party, and in some cases, the event is provided by the groom to the proposal to his girlfriend - although I hope it is quite sure of the answer before he has

part can be held in a home, restaurant, or any place that captures the imagination, or has special meaning for the couple. It could be the scene of their first date, or their favorite corner restaurant. If the couple loves outdoor activities together, it could be a picnic at their favorite place to hike.

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Similarly, the event can be simple or complex. Cake and coffee at home a set of parents is very good; champagne and appetizers at the home of a best friend is appropriate; a casual buffet to the house of his sister would be great; or a seated dinner, barbecue or brunch hosted by the groom's parents. The rules are simple in that it is not much!

One of the few rules is that your guests should be limited to friends and family who will be invited to the wedding. But that does not mean it should be a complete list wedding guest. An engagement party is a more intimate affair. Moreover, gifts are an option at this party, and should not be expected. Do not under any circumstances put the registry information on the invitation.

If this part will serve the purpose of introducing the two families to another, it would be a good idea to have an icebreaker or two planned to help things warm up. Otherwise, someone who knows the majority of customers should be assigned the job of welcoming people at the party and make presentations.

A Champagne Cocktail and Menu Starters Engagement Party

Champagne Cocktail punch -. Serve in your bowl to the most festive punch

green olives marinated with oregano - for olive fans, these are small bites dependence

Sage sausage Bites with Apricot balsamic Dip - .. A quick and easy recipe that will look like you have taken a lot more time to prepare

Fabulous stuffed Mushrooms - These can be prepared in advance and simply jumped into the oven to cook when your guests arrive. They are a delicious combination of blue and cream cheese, and green onions

Brandied Mushroom Dip -. This sophisticated dip can be served hot or cold, depending on the season or your prefernce.

Basil Palmiers -. This recipe can be prepared in advance and served straight from the oven or at room temperature

Kourabiedes - growing up, I had a very good friend of Greek origin and often got taste those wonderful, delicate biscuits in his house

Lemon Cheese Tart Strip - .. a simple but elegant recipe from Gale Gand

Other various beverages, including drinks fizzy, carbonated water, fruit juice and coffee.