Not remarry before reading this

Not remarry before reading this -

Sean Murphy-Stone / Getty

By Marni Feuerman

Marriage Expert

By Marni Feuerman

update July 17, 2016 .

If you are planning to remarry, especially when the mixture of families, you should consider the many possible challenges you may encounter. There are additional stressors in these scenarios can cause conflict between you and your new spouse. Here are some common concerns that newly married partners are likely to face and how to deal with them.

emotional baggage from your previous marriage

Old patterns and triggers relationship can easily occur. People often react to conflict predictably. You avoidant conflict? Disdainful? Do you turn quickly? Have you always the one to raise questions in your past relationship? maybe it burned you and has contributed to the failure of your first marriage. It is essential to bring new ways to resolve conflicts with your current marriage. This may require you to take a deep and meaningful look at your role in your previous marriage, and if your behavior contributed to this end.

If it still brings about intense, negative emotions, there is a good chance that you will bring this "baggage" in your new marriage as well, especially when times are tough. Whatever you do, do not ignore your own red flags and ask for help sooner if the ghosts of the past continue to reappear.

Finance

Finance can cause many problems when combining families and households. A solid financial plan, discussed before making a commitment, is recommended. Discuss your budget, especially regarding children's needs. If your new spouse does not receive alimony or support is insufficient, you must be willing to assume some financial responsibility for children that are not yours. If you do not agree with this, it may cause conflict between you and your new spouse. Remember, children are victims of divorce and must not be put in the middle of adult financial disagreements. A financial advisor or counselor can guide you both, if you find that you still can not compromise on this issue.

The extended family and in-laws

Remarriage can create a more complicated situation with in-laws or extended family. These members of the extended family can experience the sadness of divorce, and happiness for the new marriage as well. Loyalty concerns can arise when there is an ongoing relationship with the former spouse due to joint custody. Be aware that others in the family can adjust to divorce a different rate than you, especially if you remarried quickly. It is very difficult to change what others think or feel about the situation, but you can strengthen your relationship with them over time. You can also discuss any concerns directly with parents and other family members. If these people are causing conflict in your marriage, you need to establish healthy boundaries and firm early on so that they understand they have to resolve their conflicting feelings without interfering in your new marriage.

Parenting

If you Blending your families during a new marriage, there now has children from a previous relationship (s), common children, or a mixture of both. Many second (and third) marriages fail because of constraints on children. All children have different physical and emotional needs. You may have two variables parenting philosophies. Your wedding is the basic relationship in the stepfamily and is the foundation of the family. Domestic rules define standards, expectations and consequences that are universal, fair and consistent for all children. A united front is still critical. Not all children will be as close to you and you can get along better with your own children that your new stepchildren. Know that this can also occur in traditional nuclear families.

You and your spouse are a team, and the need to address the interactions with your children and extended family in this way. Maintain open communication without letting things pile up. Consider couples therapy if you can not seem to minimize conflicts on your own. You may even consider counseling before committing to marriage, even if things seem to go well, to ensure that you have a solid plan to deal with all the challenges that come your way.

Recommended reading available for purchase at Amazon: Wisdom of Step-Parenting: How to succeed where others fail, Smart Step-Family, Remarriage Adventure: Preparing for a life of love and happiness, the Blueprint remarriage

KEEP YOUR NEW MARRIAGE STRONG ... SIGN UP fOR MARRIAGE EMAIL WEEKLY NEWSLETTER TODAY!

Unknown 12:22 PM 1 Komentar

Related Posts

Not remarry before reading this

4/ 5

Oleh Unknown