are you a "yes" person or part of a couple "yes"? Do you know how to say "no" to others?
Volunteering can hurt your marriage. . If you and your spouse you are just too busy with little time for your relationship or your children, maybe you have a problem saying NO
popular speaker and author Clayton Barbeau wrote: "Where you put your time you place your life and where you place your life you place your love "
Why do you say YES and volunteers
studies show that most people volunteer for one reason following :.
to help others
a sense of duty
pleasure
having a child in the program
not being able to say nO
volunteering can multiply
you may notice that your volunteer multiply. you say yes to that, then you are called to help with that when another call comes in, and another and another.
This not only describes organizations like the PTA or Scouts or 4H, or other worthy organizations.
Family and friends may ask you to volunteer to run errands, babysit the children, looking for someone or drop off someone, attend a function dinner, watch their dog or cat , etc.
Peter Bregman: .. "know your not Identify what is important to you and recognize what is not if you do not know where you want to spend your time, you will not know where you don 't want to spend your time before you can say no with confidence, you need to be clear that you mean no All other steps follow it " . Source: Peter .. Bregman. "New Practices help you say no" Harvard Business Review (hbr.org) 15/02/2013.
Ask you questions about how you spend your time. During the planning and to say YES too to others can lead to conflict and stress.
say NO Tips
Remember that say NO often say YES to your relationship.
saying no is a fact of life. you have to say no if you want to survive whatever is thrown at you in life in general every day.
If you have dysfunctional members requiring the family who will not accept or respect your nO when you said in a clear and understanding, then seek professional help in treating these difficult parents.
Before one of you volunteering for another organization or employment, or agree to do something for someone else, really look at how it will impact your marriage.
How long will it take?
How long it will take you away?
Choose to volunteer for something you can do together or preferably as a family.
Be open to say NO. People will always you. Honest.
Look for opportunities to you who offers "one shot" or that do not last for the next 0 years to share.
Do not feel guilty for missing a meeting now and then. Ask yourself if this meeting is really all that matters! It probably is not. Most meetings are not.
Plan some special time in your busy schedule for each other and for your children.
Be honest about why you need to say YES or as why you need to be a people pleaser. volunteer time you spend could be "peanut butter" in your marital relationship?
