What to do (and not do) when your parents disapprove of your wedding

What to do (and not do) when your parents disapprove of your wedding -

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by Sheri Stritof

Marriage Expert

by Sheri Stritof

When your parents disapprove of who you choose to marry, to both your wedding and the wedding of your parents may have a negative impact. In addition, the relationship you have with your parents can be severely damaged.

Here are things to do and not do in this situation.

• Be honest with your parents when you share why you love your partner. Look for opportunities for your parents and your partner to get to know each other better. At dinner with family and partner, discuss childhood memories, dreams and goals, etc.
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• Although you may not like what your parents say about the person you love, listen. Listen to your parents does not mean you agree with what they say.
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• If you are a minor, you must accept that your parents should not give legal consent for you to marry. Even if a pregnancy involved, they can say no. Do not try to use emotional blackmail on your parents. Try to understand their desire to be hated by you is a sign of their love for you. Be prepared to go to the family consultation with your parents. Realize that if you and your partner are really in love, to wait a few years to marry will not destroy your love for each other.
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• Consider attending counseling before marriage or a week- Engaged end of meeting. This can help ease the fears of your parents that you are getting married too quickly, marrying for the wrong reasons, marrying too young or marrying the wrong person.
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• If you have doubts about your relationship to postpone your wedding until you are sure of your relationship. Remember that it is less traumatic to call off a marriage to get a divorce.
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• If your parents still do not love your spouse after your marriage, talk about the limits you both need to put in your relationship with your parents for their disapproval does not become a wedge between you and your spouse.
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• Decide together whether or not your spouse participate in family reunions or visit your parents with you, but do not let your spouse stand out from your parents. Know that isolate you from friends and family is a red flag in your marriage.
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• Studies show that parental disapproval of a spouse can create distrust, criticism, and conflict in a marriage. If this happens, please consider seeing a marriage counselor.
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• Do not allow the conflict to escalate to the point of destroying your relationship with your parents. Consider the consequences of a long-term alienation from your parents and perhaps grandparents, siblings and other extended family. Realize that holding grudges and anger can harm your own health.
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