One of the toughest decisions you may have to make in your life is whether to give a second chance a cheating spouse. This decision is particularly difficult when your spouse has lied to you, manipulated, made a fool of you, and / or attempted to conceal the case.
But, if your spouse is generally safe and reliable, regrets being unfaithful, promises to be faithful, and you believe that the two of you do not like
Each person his line in the sand - the only thing that is a deal breaker. Only you know what that line in the sand for you
Here are five reasons why you should not give a second chance a cheater :.
- There was an affair with a former partner
- the case was full term and long
- cheater shows no remorse or not apologize
- cheating took place at the beginning of the relationship
- the cheating is set or a pattern of behavior
questions if you consider giving your partner a second chance
Before I give you a second chance at your spouse, here are important questions to ask:
- is this the first time your spouse cheated on you
- did your spouse include pain? he / she has caused?
- Is your spouse cheating recognized as a problem?
- your spouse has accepted the responsibility of being unfaithful?
- Whatever the reasons for infidelity, your spouse will accept that changes are necessary in his / her behavior?
- your spouse apologized?
- do you think your spouse is remorseful and regrets really be unfaithful?
- does your spouse attend both marital and individual counseling?
- you have all the links to the partner of the case was broken?
- If the person is someone working with your spouse, do you discuss how your partner can keep the relationship a company only basis?
- do you think you and your spouse can have a successful, happy, long-lasting marriage?
- do you think you can never trust your spouse again?
- you think your marriage is worth saving? If yes, then why?
- Do you think past infidelity of your spouse will always haunt your mind and heart?
- Can you forgive your spouse?
- Are you both willing to work on your marriage and learn to solve your underlying problems constructively communicater?
If you decide to give your spouse a second chance, make sure your spouse knows that this is a unique opportunity. Just once. You forgive over and over. Say it clearly that there will be more chances. It is important to note that your forgiveness and willingness to give a second chance not tolerate cheating behavior.
For those who get the Second Chance
If you're one of the lucky who has a spouse ready to consider giving you a second chance, you must explain why you cheated and being apologetic, honest and keep your promises. Accept that there will be questions about your commitment and if you go out again the next time you set your eyes on someone you like better
Read more :. More steps you must take to heal the pain and mistrust in your marriage
What others have to say about Second chances
"do not blame you. Your esteem of self and self-esteem are not dependent on your behavior partners. you can be part of the solution or work to change the relationship, but you are not the cause of betrayal. "Dr. Terri Orbuch Cheaters If a second chance? on FoxNews.com
"When it comes to giving the offender lost a second (or third or fourth) forgiveness, where can we draw the line? the biggest problem with cheating on a spouse or significant other is not necessarily sexual liaison itself, but rather the betrayal of trust it causes. This painful loss of confidence in many cases proves too much to get past ... once can be considered a slip up. an aberration. Two or more times is a pattern. Why cheat the series be forgiven or provided a third, fourth or fifth chance? "Dr. Stephen Diamond, When Partners Cheat: Who deserves Second Chances PsychologyToday.com (2010)
." If your partner falls into the "do not feel remorse" category, him or her back to take is unwise. The cheat must see their fault or that person will never be able to connect with you emotionally and honestly. Even with a "bad marriage", the responsibility was still on your partner to solve appropriately problems (seek therapy, talk to clergy). "Marni Feuerman Questions to Ask Before never Taking Back a Cheater on YourTango.com
Nobody can tell you what to do in this situation. It is not easy to just walk or to divide the family. you can rebuild your marriage with good tools. orientation and reputable professional books or online resources can help you move forward regardless of the direction you choose.
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2 comments
My husband and i got Married last year and we have been living happily for a while. We used to be free with everything and never kept any secret from each other until recently everything changed when he got a new Job in NewYork 2 months ago.He has been avoiding my calls and told me he is working,i got suspicious when i saw a comment of a woman on his Facebook Picture and the way he replied her. I asked my husband about it and he told me that she is co-worker in his organization,We had a big argument and he has not been picking my calls,this went on for long until one day i decided to notify my friend about this and that was how she introduced me to Mr James(Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) a Private Investigator who helped her when she was having issues with her Husband. I never believed he could do it but until i gave him my husbands Mobile phone number. He proved to me by hacking into my husbands phone. where i found so many evidence and proof in his Text messages, Emails and pictures that my husband has an affairs with another woman.i have sent all the evidence to our lawyer.I just want to thank Mr James for helping me because i have all the evidence and proof to my lawyer,I Feel so sad about infidelity.
ReplyI suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s phones Text messages whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via email(worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) or Text/call : +12317945543
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